tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56399822011-07-08T09:45:59.023+10:00walk beside me25 year old learning to live and let live.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.comBlogger16271100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-24215949753170190992011-05-11T01:54:00.000+10:002011-05-11T01:54:57.425+10:00i told myself that i should minimise my use of this blog as much as possible as it's meant to record only moments of negativity. i didn't realise that less than 30 weeks away from our wedding, i'll be penning something so negative about us.
when we first started out as a couple, you assured me that i'm your baby and that you'll never intentionally hurt me. now, 4 years down the road, why am i lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-61521117838218284692011-03-26T03:37:00.002+11:002011-03-26T03:39:41.238+11:00i won't lie.i still miss you.just talking about you today nearly brought tears to my eyes.i miss you.i miss you more than words could ever express.but you left.you left me alone.to deal with all the things that the world could possibly throw.you left me.when i thought you'll be there to witness my happy days.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-9897348723918330902010-10-10T03:44:00.003+11:002010-10-10T03:54:11.893+11:00- wish -there's a wish buried deep,deep in the abyss of my heart.a heart that has been tested,tested enough, i foolishly thought.this wish resurfaced yet again,again it broke through the barriers.these barriers was angrily placed,placed to prevent any more tears.that wish should have just left,left and flutter to my only solace.the solace was none other than you,you who selfishly left me to lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-75187851969625787612010-10-06T02:13:00.002+11:002010-10-06T02:17:22.722+11:00was reading someone's posts on flowerpod and i started thinking of you.you once said to me that you wanna lock me up so that i don't get myself into trouble and let guys hurt me. now i'm asking you, where am i to lock myself up then when you left this world and left me heartbroken?started tearing again when i heard the lines "far across the distance and spaces between us. you have come to show lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-79914938674068134842010-09-14T20:04:00.000+10:002010-09-14T20:05:18.959+10:00i'm proud to say that these days have been happy days, thus, the neglect of this blog, which chronicles the down portions of my life.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-8607929372279797742010-08-24T22:43:00.003+10:002010-08-24T22:50:28.172+10:00the hostage situation in Manila broke my heart.i chanced upon some of the photos taken during the hostage and, honestly, looking at those grim faces of individuals who are about to meet their doom was not pleasant. my partner asked me if i've watched the 'live' video of the stand-off and i replied a firm no. i can't. i just can't. the thought of having to watch a video, which was 'live' at the lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-86719715497620231862010-08-19T02:44:00.001+10:002010-08-19T02:45:33.128+10:00i dreamt of my grandpa last night.i was happy till i realised i've not dreamt of you for a long time.but grandpa, don't be upset k? i miss you too. please visit me more often. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-15893781616526858312010-08-15T18:14:00.002+10:002010-08-15T18:16:23.697+10:00had an extremely bad argument with my partner yesterday. when he start scolding me when he's drunk, i can still somewhat dismiss it but when he start accusing me, about similar things that he was scolding me when he's drunk, when he's sober, i can't dismiss it further.i'm still affected by what he has said.i mean if i'm that horrible a person, why the hell would you want to marry me?i'm not a lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-24078652186738356832010-08-11T02:19:00.002+10:002010-08-11T02:21:47.433+10:00this blog has been a relatively depressing chronicle of my life.as of today, i joined tumblr to chronicle the happier moments.this blog will continue to function as the venue of my laments.hopefully, it's the other that will prevail and persist through time.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-78109180404979106602010-08-10T17:47:00.001+10:002010-08-10T17:49:11.712+10:00graduating in about a year's time, if nothing cocks up.almost 5 years of university life later, what do i do?i start looking through SIM website and wonder if i should do a part-time course whilst i work.i think i've gone bonkers.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-70428859338968818002010-08-09T22:56:00.002+10:002010-08-09T22:56:53.088+10:00R.I.P.the only thing that separates a depressed from the deceased is listen.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-41542608844438881022010-08-09T02:29:00.002+10:002010-08-09T02:43:17.581+10:00woke up crying. nose was stuffed and i could still feel my tears flowing.strangely, in this dream, there was nothing that was really about me. i just happened to be an orphan, adopted by a family who recently lost their wife/mother. somewhere, somehow, the youngest daughter of that family made a run for her room, very much in tears. i followed suit and asked her why did she leave so abruptly. shelalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-8959615701761392892010-08-08T03:32:00.006+10:002010-08-08T03:38:30.162+10:00i'm just 19 days away from you really, though there's one obstacle that threatens to destroy that.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-34342954879534744422010-08-05T01:50:00.002+10:002010-08-05T02:02:48.076+10:00Mosque and Islamic centre to be built near Ground Zeroupon reading this article, i felt compelled to comment on it. like the majority of the world's population, i condemned the September 11 attack. the senseless attack by these terrorist organisations for whatever righteous reasons they may have, attacked not just the community of individuals within New York at that point in time, but globally lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-44677626278363186162010-07-28T18:03:00.002+10:002010-07-28T18:07:09.278+10:00just took a short trip down memory lane. pictures of him and her was hidden within that treasure chest. i wish i know what they think of me now. i wish i knew why she over-estimated her own health. i wish i knew why he allowed himself to waste away.there are some things in life that i'll always be hunting answers for but i know i can never find them. for the angels who hold the key to them will lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-24101244054987886462010-07-27T18:52:00.003+10:002010-07-27T18:53:32.487+10:00i miss waking up at 0730hrs to bask in the sun of sydney, with a nice pot of coffee and 2 toasted bread to welcome the day.i shall torture myself for the next 2 nights, just so that i can enjoy the mornings once more.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-17309340593258441842010-07-25T23:50:00.003+10:002010-07-25T23:54:48.068+10:00in an ever-growing affluent society and with most individuals educated, i don't understand how is it that customs are more important than sustaining the Earth. we all have to inhabit this Earth, whether we like it or not. yet, instead of protecting her, we are destroying her. why is that the case?have humans became so smug and complacent with their place on this planet? this Earth can die and lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-46197661967695141102010-07-25T00:30:00.001+10:002010-07-25T00:30:45.174+10:00Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem.-- David D. Burnslalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-46108233712702617602010-07-24T19:21:00.002+10:002010-07-24T19:29:28.513+10:00the thought of abandoning my blog came up once again. reading through the archives, feeling the words i've written, i can't help but realise how true yunting's words were. my blog is nothing but a depressing chronicle of my life. despite the fact that i'm planning, alongside my man, a once-in-a-lifetime (though some may argue that that's arguable) event, my blog rarely chronicles the happy lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-19866185872843794462010-07-24T01:43:00.000+10:002010-07-24T01:44:08.018+10:00at times, i do feel like the luckiest lady on earth.then it strikes.and everything goes numb once again.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-14563124443784292342010-07-23T16:07:00.000+10:002010-07-23T16:10:14.462+10:00selfless is just an extremely positive term for selfish.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-45188830395260085482010-07-23T16:01:00.002+10:002010-07-23T16:04:09.788+10:00bought my law books for advanced IP, international trade law and the 1st volume of law and social theory's course notes. i've not bought any thing for advanced contract and the 2nd volume of LST and i've already spent AUD303.with all these books in hand, my reading schedule is set.i'm all set for 12 weeks of pure legal torture again.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-45283586168446949792010-07-21T02:30:00.002+10:002010-07-21T02:33:15.899+10:00yesterday, my man called and informed me of a piece of news but had to hang up before i could respond to that piece of news.when i finally got hold of him again, i told him that there's no need to inform me of such things cos every time he mentioned similar news conveyed by a particular individual, i'll see that that's not true.it's like the proverbial boy who cried wolf.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-64109014695820658772010-07-19T11:37:00.002+10:002010-07-19T11:45:10.169+10:00for almost 5 years now, i've been shuttling between singapore and sydney.when i went back this time round, i couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness, as i witnessed the changes before my eyes.5 years ago, my little sister was still of a single digit age but now, she's growing into a teenager.5 years ago, my little brother was still wearing shorts but now, he's wearing a uniform.5 years ago, my lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-7052226256595546082010-07-05T14:24:00.002+10:002010-07-05T14:31:40.924+10:00i'm not an angel. hell no. i'm like a devil in a child.mistakes were made in my other relationships.poor choices, ridiculous selfish-ness, etc.but NEVER have i slept with a former partner's brother.there's a line to be drawn; a very thick black line to be drawn.certain limits are never meant to be crossed.not even in the current despondent century that we're in.the code of every brotherhood lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-15915901392273277472010-06-23T12:57:00.002+10:002010-06-23T13:01:48.104+10:00i've been back for a while now and if anyone thought i'll have a smooth-sailing life ahead of me, please pray harder for me.i've been facing dramas after dramas. first off, exam dramas. then wedding drama. God knows what's next. i honestly think now that it will be the greatest sin committed if i don't do drama, since drama loves to do me.on a happier note, we've booked our bridal package with lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-46315535385319030302010-06-08T16:16:00.002+10:002010-06-08T16:18:31.410+10:00i thought i heard your voice last night.still so distinctively yours.i wish there was an answering machine that had your voice, and was never turned off.so that i could call whenever i needed to feel your presence.and it's at times like these, i wish i never have to return home.cos whenever i'm about to, i begin to realise that i've lost you for good.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-47227304203855514912010-06-03T19:50:00.001+10:002010-06-03T19:50:54.877+10:00i wish i could turn back time. i wish i had the power to bring you back to life. i wish i told you how important you were. i wish i knew how to stop feeling guilty. i miss your smile. i miss your voice. i miss your presence. i miss your love. my pillar. my strenth. my joy. and now, my tears. all i can wish for now is for just one chance, an impossible chance, to tell you i love you. my world lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-14030017592042346892010-06-02T14:01:00.002+10:002010-06-02T14:07:47.794+10:00trying to stay positive so that i won't procrastinate my work. after all, with only 16 days left to finish up an exam, a 3500 word problem question and two take home exams, i've effectively only 4 days for each of this task.the light at the end of this 16 days dark tunnel is my flight back to singapore at 0805am and touching down at 1430hrs to begin a 31days rendezvous with my family and loved lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-65789096737708975242010-05-21T19:25:00.003+10:002010-05-21T19:47:52.055+10:00i was reading one of flowerpod's wedding talk's thread when i started thinking about my own friendships.i was upset at M's initial response to the whole wedding thing but when i was truly in doubt and all, he spoke to me and advised me to think things through rationally. he may not have given me the most joyous response in receiving the news but i guess, in times of need, i can still count on himlalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-62316675890856393582010-05-17T14:38:00.003+10:002010-05-17T14:39:26.867+10:00if it feels like you're the only person excited about something, that gut feeling is probably right.he asked to talk about the whole thing tonight, but at the back of my head, i've already came to the conclusion that the union is off.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-11421563129076719772010-05-16T11:07:00.005+10:002010-05-16T13:48:32.935+10:00i deliberated over whether i should write about this but i decided that i should seriously fuck it. i'm done walking on eggshells whenever i talk to you. i'm done walking on eggshells whenever i'm around you. i'm done walking on eggshells, which i've been doing since 8 years ago. and if you think i'm talking about you, YES I AM.we started off as friends. we were good as friends. when we lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-66322181249528553362010-05-09T19:03:00.002+10:002010-05-09T19:14:59.734+10:00there's no patience in my bones.not when i've been staring at search engines after search engines to finish up a ridiculous 3 working days legal research assignment.there's no tolerance in my bones.not when i've been working my ass off trying to figure out what banking law is all about so that i can write an essay on it after the above-mentioned.there's no joy in my bones.not when all i see on mylalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-40829977643310438342010-05-06T21:26:00.004+10:002010-05-06T21:38:31.932+10:00to a very dear and loved friend,what i've said yesterday may not have sat down well with you, but i had to. i may have been too harsh and a little too blunt with you, but i hope you understand that i truly meant well. i can't speak for her but on my part, i hope you understand that i truly wanted to see you out of the loop. this morning i woke up and realised that what i said may not be lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-46119430442306896802010-04-24T19:36:00.002+10:002010-04-24T19:40:14.101+10:00permission has been given.mum and aud was in sydney for the past 9 days and they just left this afternoon.the apartment feels a little empty and i admit, i did cry.after almost 5 years abroad, i'm seriously missing home a little more than i should.when june/july comes around, there will be more to be discussed.hopefully, home will come to me if i can't return, soon.all good things must come to anlalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-5344285276910738282010-04-11T01:39:00.003+10:002010-04-11T02:05:09.137+10:00the other day, i started to think about what i used to do during my spare time. indulging in life's vices, moping about my life, writing poems and daydream myself away. then i realised what i truly missed. i miss writing. not just any ordinary writing. i missed writing poems on a regular basis. i miss how i will just indulge my entire being into writing that perfect poem that reflected my lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-32722071424198119262010-03-20T00:58:00.003+11:002010-03-20T01:17:40.825+11:00change. change. change.changes are like the only constant things in this world, isn't it? you change, i change, we change, things change, earth change, relationships change, looks change, every single freaking thing changes, doesn't it? but we still try our best to fight against these changes, i wonder why? why is it that the more we resist change, the more drastic the changes always seem to lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-82590980301305867512010-03-14T02:23:00.002+11:002010-03-14T02:36:07.746+11:00sex and the city always brings me down to path of nostalgia. whenever i see carrie, charlotte, miranda and samatha gather on screen to talk about love, romance and sex, i'll start thinking about me, a few years ago. at that point, i was still held in limbo with M and constantly wondered if he was my mr big, who will eventually bring me home. then shit happened and i realised that i don't want a lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-89097450279904667442010-03-09T02:19:00.005+11:002010-03-09T02:30:52.724+11:00i was bored during my 5 hours break between classes when i decided to do a random search online for gossips. any kinda gossips to satisfy my restlessness. i was reading through numerous gossips when i chanced upon "singapore's edison chen". i remembered briefly that my sydney singaporean friends had mentioned to me about this guy but i've never actually done any search on him before and since i lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-31407634899744033322010-03-05T18:43:00.002+11:002010-03-05T18:49:47.289+11:00i've been on the edge since this morning.woke up at 9 (yup, late for school again) and began panicking about how my brother did for his A levels. messages were sent to him and i received no replies. never mind. i bombarded my mum. my mum then revealed that the results will only be out at 1430hrs Singapore time. so i waited. and waited. and waited. and waited. as patiently as i could.1430 SG time lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-66699726501685107762010-03-04T02:08:00.001+11:002010-03-04T02:09:41.545+11:00to be honest, at this very moment, i'm flattered.flattered that after such a long time, there are peeps still reading my poems and being touched by them.i thank you all for reading them. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-55341219944453831742010-03-02T18:06:00.001+11:002010-03-02T18:07:45.829+11:00i'm recently tempted to start a new blog.but i can't bear to let this go. almost 7 years of my life has been chronicled on this blog, though in recent years, my description of my life has been to the minimal.i know i will miss this blog if i do change it.and i will miss it terribly.it is, after all, the place where you first read my heart.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-24378612192373041722010-03-01T00:40:00.001+11:002010-03-01T00:41:36.900+11:00and so, i'm back down under once again.thought i could get away from tearing since i've really spent maximum time with you this time round. how wrong could i be?the moment i heard your voice over the phone after i touched down, i just lost it.missing you so badly right now.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-53642059153130979122010-02-18T16:22:00.001+11:002010-02-18T16:22:07.713+11:00I'm down to just 10 days.it does get a little frustrating as the days go by. I wonder where has all the time gone?I wonder whether things will change. how many more times must I go back and forth before I find my home?lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-68866713104444133292010-02-08T20:06:00.008+11:002010-02-08T20:13:51.136+11:00lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-19240791643283890452010-02-08T18:57:00.002+11:002010-02-08T19:00:37.243+11:0020 days left.where has time flown to?3 more semesters.God, let the last not be repeated.2 going on 3.another year of ups and downs in us.i don't see how the precious drops will not fall when we part.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-14086577079954376302010-01-27T21:37:00.002+11:002010-01-27T21:41:53.090+11:00as the date draws closer, i find myself struggling to grasp hold of every second.it's times like these that i get upset with myself for my laziness and poor choices in the past that landed me in this situation.then again, i reasoned with myself that it was also these choices that led me to him.as upset as i am, i'm glad i made those choices.with you, i can actually believe that there's some good lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-17073245550715563522010-01-25T22:01:00.002+11:002010-01-25T22:11:27.782+11:00slightly less than 3 weeks to our 3rd year together.we've had our tough times; we've had our fun times.slightly more than a month till i've to return back to down under.stayed up the whole of last night trying to figure out ways to prolong my stay.then i realised that these efforts are useless.cherishing these moments are all i can do to ease the later yearnings.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-8106447884035808542010-01-10T16:50:00.002+11:002010-01-10T16:56:31.805+11:00met up with my primary school mates last night and (i know it's a bit retardedly-slow of me to realise it only now) it dawned on me that i will be hitting the quarter of a century mark in like slightly more than 7 months' time. as i laid in bed in the wee hours of the morning, i swear that my only thoughts were these - "wasn't i like 18 just yesterday?", "what's 25 supposed to feel like?", "are lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-17007112340646309622010-01-09T19:07:00.002+11:002010-01-09T19:11:08.191+11:00i was gonna write a letter to my brother when i came across my past letters to my ex-es. letters to J, M and G surfaced and reading through them made me view myself, as a 3rd person, to be a total retard. but this could be due to the cynical eyes i've been having since i removed fantasy from my head. no longer does the heart rule as much as the years before; it's the head that reign as the lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-4141496758798869872010-01-02T22:18:00.000+11:002010-01-02T22:19:10.457+11:002009 is over. it's now 2010.i've learnt to be grateful for my friends whom i truly can count on.i've learnt to not put up with nonsense.i've learnt to pick and choose.most importantly, i'm learning to be me.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-6618275424841210362009-12-29T03:24:00.001+11:002009-12-29T03:24:17.115+11:00sitting at his void deck now as he discuss business with his friends. suddenly singapore is just as quiet, just as peaceful as I recall it to be.maybe, just maybe, I'll still miss this place afterall. lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-3744051777421397392009-12-28T17:48:00.001+11:002009-12-28T17:50:04.480+11:00nothing will be the same.again.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-75808525991940635382009-12-26T16:04:00.001+11:002009-12-26T16:05:38.569+11:00there is something growing that silence has been covering.will this spell the beginning of a new chapter or will this remain as it is?this organ is not meant for human interaction, despite its many stories.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-17618398252010234602009-12-25T06:45:00.001+11:002009-12-25T06:45:37.409+11:00merry Christmas to all. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-67356594152149166962009-12-10T14:52:00.002+11:002009-12-10T14:54:13.072+11:00is it normal that whenever i dream of happy endings, i wake up fearing more than ever?is it normal that whenever there's smiles and laughters, i'll scowl eventually in return?is it normal that whenever i witness bliss before my eyes, i turn up my defensive shields?is it normal that when the whole world dreams of the fairytale endings but i lay in bed wondering what happens after?lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-37912593284164384262009-12-08T18:44:00.001+11:002009-12-08T18:52:50.898+11:00sometimes i tell myself to be more accepting, understanding and forgiving.but whenever i lay my eyes on her face, my heart twists with anger and my eyes fill with rage.sometimes i tell myself to not pit against such low-life and to rise above.but whenever i lay my eyes on her face, my hands twitches to slap and my mind fills with anger.she's probably the only human being on Earth, i truly loathe lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-62270280586001242512009-11-17T14:47:00.003+11:002009-11-17T14:50:32.358+11:00i've been back for almost a week but it's only now that my sleeping hours are becoming somewhat 'me'.the past few nights have seen me in really grumpy states - waking up at 6am; dying to fall asleep by 1am.now, i could at least last slightly past 1am and am slowly crawling out of bed at only 10am.i miss my sleep.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-75799548594247663902009-11-13T02:56:00.001+11:002009-11-13T02:57:25.400+11:00sometimes, i do think that it's best i never came back at all.keeping everything at a distance with a wall in between.no physicality, no intimacy, no nothing that could penetrate it.cos only that way, i know my heart and mind is safe from insanity.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-52279277823724463922009-11-12T14:23:00.003+11:002009-11-12T14:24:59.228+11:00touched down last night with a handful of goodies.i was telling my man that it felt strange that when i woke up, i woke up to sydney but now that i'm going to bed, i'm sleeping to the sounds of singapore.either i've travelled back and forth way too much for my brain to realise the difference or i'm simply lost in transition.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-44376203560119960892009-11-09T23:43:00.001+11:002009-11-09T23:45:07.264+11:00i'm just 2 days away from stepping foot on hot and humid singapore.i'm just 2 days away from my family, my laydees and my man.i'm just 2 days away from some nice chill-out session in the heat.i'm just 2 days away from the food that i've missed.it's just down to 2 now!lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-3223933393538455322009-11-01T00:05:00.006+11:002009-11-06T18:51:58.687+11:00Countdownri need to sleep without the aid of temazepam or some nonsense sleeping pill.i need to sleep without destroying the mouthguard that's meant to prevent destructions of my teeth.i need to sleep without jumping out of bed fearing that i missed an important exam or something.i need to sleep in peace.i miss sleep.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-64839158119052814262009-10-27T19:56:00.003+11:002009-10-27T19:57:38.335+11:00just 3 days to the start of exam and i've fallen victim to the weather.just slightly more than 2 weeks to home.please please, my body, please.i need to finish up my corp law studies.please. :(lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-81735573069173226082009-10-24T21:11:00.002+11:002009-10-24T21:16:28.642+11:00i'm just less than a month away from home but already, i'm dreaming of all the gorgeous food awaiting me, the fun that i'll have with my laydees and my man, the joy at getting exasperated by my siblings and most of all, the leisure that i so yearn.i wanna sit at tawandang, sipping a mug of cold beer listening to raw energy play in the background.i wanna boogie my night away at dbl o, zouk, butterlalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-46197605392908200122009-10-22T11:53:00.000+11:002009-10-22T11:54:20.226+11:008 days to start of exams.19 days to peace.22 days to home.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-66039883671981694752009-10-17T01:33:00.001+11:002009-10-17T01:33:18.767+11:00i'm just 28 days away.:)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-44908686724309007422009-10-11T21:40:00.002+11:002009-10-11T21:47:38.907+11:00this weekend marks the end of a chapter.a couple of tears, lots of laughter.individual hugs, group hugs.speeches were made, pledges were made.in a foreign land where we only have friends to call family,a huge chunk of this family of mine are now beginning a new chapter.every 2 years, we say, let's have a reunion.and when the 2 years come, we'll remember and never forget. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-45224765090447889082009-10-09T20:49:00.001+11:002009-10-09T20:50:52.887+11:00i hate surprises cos it keeps me in suspense, and i hate that kinda feeling.but still, my man insists on it.and i'm pleasantly surprised (that's an understatement) once again.999 loveseends.2 swans.999 days together. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-35085074631646928282009-10-09T12:10:00.002+11:002009-10-09T12:16:02.500+11:00i grew up praying to remain innocent.innocent about friendships.innocent about relationships.innocent about humans.innocent about the world.unfortunately, sometimes God has other plans for you.i grew up becoming cynical.cynical about friendships.cynical about relationships.cynical about humans.cynical about the world.when my birthday came and went,i was in two extremes of the emotive world.at onelalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-8290272695329965732009-10-08T01:51:00.001+11:002009-10-08T01:52:57.185+11:00viewed 4 apartments today.one caught my eye.like seriously caught my eye.i've probably never felt so strongly for an apartment before.will be lodging an application form for it tomorrow though it's really rather expensive.oh well. we shall see. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-83235334451536129252009-10-01T19:15:00.001+10:002009-10-01T19:15:57.787+10:00the countdown begins.30 days to the start of exams.41 days to the end of exams and massive moving.44 days from home.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-29719820004518925452009-09-28T11:19:00.001+10:002009-09-28T11:20:47.581+10:00in my conscious mind, i know that it's all over.moving on, moving forwards, maintaining relations.in my unconscious mind, a struggle ensues.the oneiric theatre refusing to let the curtain fall.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-45608418484543664882009-09-27T18:27:00.001+10:002009-09-27T18:29:30.359+10:00it has been 4 years and 2 days since i took on the path of overseas education.honestly, i've never thought i'm the type that will get homesick.maybe my friends did, but, myself? never thought of myself that way.but now, i can truly say this.i'm homesick and i really just wanna graduate and fuck off.then again, it could simply be that i'm honestly getting quite sick and tired of sydney.it's lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-91029049632721641322009-09-23T15:36:00.002+10:002009-09-23T15:37:13.057+10:00you know something is not right when you're craving for a good night's sleep, only to find yourself dreaming about the fact that it's now week 9.the good night's sleep became a complete nightmare within hours. :(lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-29045159345313692312009-09-19T23:10:00.003+10:002009-09-19T23:13:30.887+10:00my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary 3 days ago.25 years.that's like no joke.then i remembered bucket list. and suddenly, i realise that as long as there's love, commitment and trust, you're pretty guaranteed for life.of course, there will be the downside of marriage.bickering especially.still, i guess that's where commitment comes in to hand to bind you in, love to make you see lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-39583072388460656392009-09-19T16:30:00.004+10:002009-09-19T16:57:22.866+10:00just because i'm a procrastinator and i happened to be reading zhongying's blog.1) are you in a relationship with somebody?yuppity yup.2) do you hate more than 3 people?hate is a very strong word. i just don't associate with them.3) how many houses have you lived in?ean kiam, bedok south, tampines (for 1 night, bleah!), bedok reservoir view and at times, pasir ris. so i guess that's 5 in total lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-2100357001870853232009-09-17T02:37:00.002+10:002009-09-17T02:40:42.846+10:003 years and a little over 2 months ago, i felt myself dying. i thought, honestly, at that point in time that i'll never ever be even close to being whole again. a part of me died and lost the zeal to meet peeps, to be happy, to excel and, most importantly, be me.now, 3 years and a little over 2 months later, i feeling rejuvenated slightly. i'm beginning to regain that zeal to meet new peeps, to lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-78138284781000653632009-09-16T18:30:00.002+10:002009-09-16T18:32:01.011+10:00my redeemer lives - team hoytabsolutely amazing this video. touching beyond words.and do check out tangle.com, which is essentially the Christian version of youtube. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-62529573995039469682009-09-14T22:38:00.000+10:002009-09-14T22:39:05.045+10:00to all my friends and to my man, of course -(Glinda):I've heard it saidThat people come into our lives for a reasonBringing something we must learnAnd we are ledTo those who help us most to growIf we let themAnd we help them in returnWell, I don't know if I believe that's trueBut I know I'm who I am todayBecause I knew you...Like a comet pulled from orbitAs it passes a sunLike a stream that meetslalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-30643820214376326852009-09-14T21:57:00.001+10:002009-09-14T21:59:22.368+10:00woke up an empty bed.woke up to a pillow still filled with your scent.now, i'm just wondering for how long will this silence last.and we reached the 31st month mark. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-47234260940018397032009-09-13T18:07:00.003+10:002009-09-13T18:45:10.222+10:00the 16 days you were here made me see how beautiful it may potentially be when we are finally together in one single spot. no need for constant misses. no need for constant farewells.the 16 days you were here made me feel truly like the happiest girl on Earth and i really wished it was not constrained by time.and so now, as i sit on my bed, with the pillow you sprayed with your scent, a tissue inlalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-77086300987640158762009-09-11T15:23:00.001+10:002009-09-11T15:23:58.405+10:00even though you're still here beside me, i'm already missing you.don't want you to leave. :(lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-28078151078018574522009-09-01T12:10:00.002+10:002009-09-01T12:33:43.826+10:00my birthday celebrations began on the 29th.dav, tina, matt, gloria, my man and myself went for dinner at a place called toko. the food was awesome, sake was awesome and i probably never ate so much desserts in my life. thanks guys for indulging with me.afterwhich, matt, my man and myself headed towards sanctuary hotel for more drinks. sherrie, git, kristi, kathi, junior and jon joined us later lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-44654061279656630002009-09-01T11:56:00.003+10:002009-09-01T12:10:51.840+10:00i'm here to share something that a cousin of mine said to his mum, which i find to be an extremely intelligent replyCheeky Martin was getting on my nerves and I ask him why he must make people scold him and then he behaves? He replied he can't help it, he took the naugthy potion when he was young...only way was to have him scolded and that will relieve his symtoms a bit but then it will never be lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-39914755087068577552009-08-26T22:46:00.000+10:002009-08-26T22:47:42.011+10:0036 more hours to go.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-14760204985736862522009-08-25T18:22:00.002+10:002009-08-25T18:33:14.361+10:00after my university decide to smarten up and realise that we simply can't do a 12 weeks semester without increasing the already high suicide rates, they've decided that since they have been kind and since it was really all part of synchronising with the other faculties, they have kindly demanded that my faculty scrap the 3 8 UOC electives that we have to do for each semester as we get ready to lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-25583510481891766742009-08-23T21:49:00.002+10:002009-08-23T22:05:29.063+10:00my mum was 24 when she got married, 25 when she had me and now when she's nearing mid-century, she has two children that are now considered adults legally, one that will be heading for his national duty in less than a year's time and the youngest who will be facing her dreaded PSLE next year.i am turning 24 soon. looking through photos of individuals whom i used to hang out with every single lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-30270335350492299402009-08-22T14:21:00.003+10:002009-08-23T17:07:28.804+10:00my man commented that i can be really insecure at times and i have to agree. despite the times where i seriously wish not to care for a single thing on Earth and be completely confident in myself, my partner and our relationship, i find myself grappling for some form of control over them all once more.my fear of losing control is probably the prima facie reason for my insecurities. the more i lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-41341011110540564482009-08-21T22:55:00.003+10:002009-08-21T23:00:00.273+10:00i was just reading through my archives and realised that i made some statements regarding my relationship with mervin almost 8 years ago, which i find stands true to a certain extent. i guess 2 was really our magic number cos almost 10 years since we've first met, i guess we can consider each other as friends once more after all the bitchfights and what-nots.just an interesting observation that lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-57153695243580790992009-08-21T01:55:00.000+10:002009-08-21T01:56:28.324+10:00i'm really only just 179 hours away from you.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-19042435537079066852009-08-20T20:39:00.003+10:002009-08-20T20:43:15.815+10:00i found out yesterday that with the sponsorship of goldheart's celestial, fann wong will be designing her very own set of jewelry for her upcoming wedding dinner. one of them features a 60-carat necklace.when night fell and i was all cosy in bed, i told my man about it and he said, "so now you want goldheart?" then i think i replied something to the effect that "i never minded goldheart's lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-90314482918468411382009-08-19T19:39:00.002+10:002009-08-19T19:59:01.873+10:00this post is potentially offensive to certain individuals and is definitely not meant for those under 16 years of age.as some of you might know, i went on the contraceptive pill about 2 years ago as i was getting increasingly frustrated at my monthly cycle. it was irregular to the extent that i literally had to remember to bring the necessary items along with me at all times, in case it decided lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-32994562037038730332009-08-19T16:41:00.002+10:002009-08-19T16:42:41.809+10:00this is probably the 1st time i sat in court and felt direct sympathy for an accused.a fellow singaporean, i suppose, sitting there crying as he testified for his innocence.tomorrow is his judgment day.i wonder what's the outcome.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-66875895611511608152009-08-17T19:28:00.001+10:002009-08-17T19:28:41.543+10:00changed my layout.enabled blogger's commenting service.all set for another 6 years. :)lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-8068678191321461722009-08-17T10:39:00.002+10:002009-08-17T10:44:26.788+10:00after reading zhongying's post, i realise that i'm as equally reluctant to meet peeps that i'm not close with. if a particular person was never part of my clique, i probably will be very reluctant to meet them cos simply, if we didn't hit it off the first time, it probably will never happen. however, if a person was initiated into the clique and we do hit it off in a way, ya sure, i'll give it a lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-72984712987918763702009-08-13T19:29:00.003+10:002009-08-13T19:35:26.948+10:00in a move that i never expected myself to make since almost 2 years ago, i googled his name once more.i guess i was more interested in finding out if anyone still remembered his name and whether he was still being held in memory.maybe they all have a different name for him cos i didn't find many posts past 2007.there will come a daywhere my fingers will tremble,stroking your very facethat is at lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-90940525863094126592009-08-12T18:22:00.002+10:002009-08-12T18:26:36.309+10:00omg. this cyber attack must stop. it's ridiculous that these stupid botnets are like activated to supposedly silence one freaking blogger. get a life humans.the same goes to the burmese government. ridiculous judgment and the trial was a complete sham. she had no control over the moron who swam to her place. is she supposed to yell out to the person when she saw him coming, "get out of here. lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-7848356165756448642009-08-11T23:38:00.003+10:002009-08-11T23:39:46.848+10:00i feel like an old woman.my eyes threaten to shut at midnight.my brain goes into a numb state.and my heart slows it beat.all to prepare me for my slumber and morning torture, day after day.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-36502608236525904932009-08-08T15:10:00.002+10:002009-08-08T15:13:06.651+10:006 years.my blog is actually 6 years old.despite the temptations to move out of this address, i'm still here.happy belated my blog.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5639982.post-11313938636840680642009-08-03T17:24:00.003+10:002009-08-03T17:25:35.907+10:00when someone cuts you loose, you don't question why, for that prolongs the misery; simply embrace the new freedom awarded to you.and if one day, he/she tries to enter in once more, just remember and reflect. chances are chances have been given umpteenth time prior and you'll be a fool to even consider another.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12671569177168987966noreply@blogger.com0